few years ago I started working on a satirical work on education reform. I tabled the project at the time as it was simply making me far too angry and spiking my blood pressure. Sometimes ya just gots ta back off.
I came across some of my notes for this the other day and thought I would share theme here.
I give you (drum role please) the education glossary! Next time someone starts talking about education reform you now have a reference for what the hell they are talking about.
Accountability - a word that only applies to teachers.
AIMS - see Arizona's Instrument for Measuring Standards
Arizona's Instrument for Measuring Standards - Arizona's high stakes test, mandated by NCLB, to the tune of 12 to 17 million dollars. Depending on whom you ask. Each state has its own test with its own cute name. Also serves as a great way to cut about two weeks of instruction time out of the school year.
Benchmark assessment - quarterly version of AIMS. Benchmark tests are also a great way to cut around another week of instruction time. Because it is quarterly it totals up to around 4 weeks of lost instruction each school year.
Bubble sheet - the answer document used on test where students bubble in A, B, C, or D. Used most often on high stakes tests because they are cheap to grade and are well known for their lack of ability in testing higher order thinking skills.
Collaboration - the time when teachers are supposed to get together to discuss teaching practices and what works or does not work with particular shared students. This time is more often used by district administration to show power points in order to sell teachers on the flavor of the month.
Common Core - A widely discredited idea that was discovered by Bill Gates after sitting unused and unwanted for many years. It operates under the main idea that learning can be done on the industrial revolution model that puts raw material on one end of a line and pumps out identical widgets at the end of the line on a regular basis. See also - NCLB, No Child Left Behind, curriculum, flavor of the month
Corrective action - What happens when the school improvement plan fails. This involves the state firing all the teachers at a school and hiring new ones. The only problem with this is that by then the school has such a reputation that no experienced teacher will teach there so all the state can get are new, inexperienced, teachers
Curriculum - see flavor of the month
Data driven - Teachers should only make teaching decisions based on test data. Even if the data disproves the conclusion.
District assessment - See benchmark assessment (notice how it's kinda' like Eskimos and snow?)
Diploma mill – the high school version of social promotion. Positive version of Dropout factory. See also: social promotion.
Dropout factory – What high schools become to alleviate the overcrowding caused by social promotion. Negative version of Diploma mill. See also: Social promotion. (Important note! If you can convince a student to transfer before dropping out it does not count as a dropout!)
Flavor of the month - an all-new way to teach that will magically make all students superstars. Usually something re-packaged from 10 years ago with some new words and has a life span of about two to three years. Or until the next new superintendent or principal comes on board.
High stakes testing - any test that is pass/fail for graduation. See also - AIMS
IEP - Individual Education Plan A document written for each student in special education. States continually change the requirements for this document in order to deny funding to schools because the paperwork was not done correctly. The ultimate goal is to have a standardized Individual Education Plan that works for all students. (seriously, you can't make this stuff up folks)
Instructional coach - A teacher that has been taken out of the classroom to "coach" other teachers. In reality, nobody actually knows what this person does.
NCLB - see No Child Left Behind
No Child Left Behind - This federal education reform act turns schools into factories by forcing them to focus on numbers and timetables. see also - Common Core
Pacing calendar – A document that states when students should be learning a certain skill throughout his or her K-12 experience. see also - Common Core
Performance based pay - The idea that paying teachers based on how students take tests will suddenly draw super teachers. Just like bonuses keep all those great minds at work on Wall Street.
Performance objective - A long list of stuff that state politicians feel need to be taught at each grade level. Usually numbered for quick and easy reference. An example from the state of Arizona -
M10-S1C1-01 . Justify with examples the relation between the number system being used (natural numbers, whole numbers, integers, rational numbers and irrational numbers) and the question of whether or not an equation has a solution in that number system
Ping Pong student - an unfortunate by-product of school choice created by parents that refuse to admit they might have a part of their child's education. These parents move their children from school to school, often several times during a single school year always blaming the school for low grades and behavior problems. What these parents fail to realize is the constant school change makes the grades and behavior worse. The most extreme case of this saw a student withdraw and re-enroll in a twelve-hour period.
PO - see Performance Objective
School improvement plan - A plan that "helps" schools raise test scores by taking money out of the classroom and makes teachers and principals leave their schools and classrooms so that they may go to trainings and then meetings to tell the state what they will be doing to raise test scores. State officials are surprised when these incredibly helpful tactics somehow do not help bring up test scores.
Social promotion - The act of moving a student to the next grade even if that student has not completed the required work to move on. This happens most often in middle school and is driven largely by the need to show positive numbers and alleviate overcrowding in the elementary and middle schools. see also - Diploma mill, Dropout factory.
Student - What once was a human being that is being turned into a data point for the purposes of tracking and having a product to sell to the public.
Smart board - A 21st century version of the overhead projector. Unlike an overhead projector, it is interactive. Just like an overhead projector, it has a tendency to make students fall asleep.
Get your Spam today! Great googly moogly I must have been discovered by a new web bot recently because I have been getting some interesting comments from some people with some very interesting names.
Names like "Free 5.0 White Mens For Women Bargain-priced With Complete Product Models", "the High Quality You Want Can Come Ture", "White Mens Clearance Sale Come To Have A Happy Time In Shoes Here", and "we Can Develop Each Other"
Even better than the names are the incredibly insightful comments that are being left.
I can truly believe that this guy is not very web smart -
"I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very web smart so I'm not 100% positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers"
Lots of people want to do link exchanges –
“Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My website covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Fantastic blog by the way!”
Nice start by the way. “Howdy!” How very Gene Autry.
"Please let me know if you're looking for a article author for your blog. You have some really good articles and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I'd love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Cheers!"
Cheers is always a good ending and seems to be popular.
Questions about what system I am using are also popular.
"I am curious to find out what blog system you're working with? I'm experiencing some minor security issues with my latest website and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any solutions?"
It’s always good when things are “more safe”. Back to ESL classes for you!
I think this rambling missive (and it takes skill to present a rambling missive in such a short space) is my favorite of the bunch.
"I do like the way you have presented this difficulty and it does indeed provide me personally some fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, coming from what I have witnessed, I simply trust when the commentary pile on that men and women keep on issue and not embark on a soap box regarding some other news of the day. Yet, thank you for this excellent piece and while I do not necessarily go along with this in totality, I respect the perspective."
I’m not even sure if a person actually wrote this or if it was just a random string of words but it’s OK because they “respect the perspective”.
Oh, and I'm sorry "Free 3.0 CarbonGrey Grey Mens Has Lots Of Choices", I don't have any other suggestions for blogs on the same subject for you. But I do wish you the best of luck my friend. Cheers!
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Hi. Welcome to my little electron of the internet, where you will find random comments about whatever pops into my mind!